Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Government Doing What Governments Sometimes Do

Virginia Governor Mark Warner signed into law yesterday House Bill 2579. I mention this because it occurs to me that The Troglodyte ought to have an official bat. I am soliciting nominations. Here is the text of Gov. Warner's announcement:

This bill designates the Virginia Big-Eared Bat as the official bat of the Commonwealth. The Legislature previously has designated a state bird (northern cardinal), a state flower and tree (dogwood), a state dog (American fox hound), a state boat (Chesapeake Bay deadrise), a state dance (square dance), a state insect (tiger swallowtail butterfly), a state fish (brook trout), a state shell (oyster), a state fossil (Chesapecten jeffersonius), and a state beverage (Got Milk?). Therefore, I see no harm in designating a state bat, no matter how odd-looking the Virginia Big-Eared bat might be. However, I am compelled to add this:

I took some grief for my nudist park pun.
But resist I cannot on this one.
I will sign this bill,
more or less of free will.
But I can't do it without having some fun.

We have a state dog and a fish and a bird.
And of the fossil I’m sure you have heard.
So why not a bat?
What's wrong with that?
The state beverage is no more absurd.

Upon my signature now it appears,
The designation will now last for years.
I'll spare you the Latin
If you're seeking the bat in
A guidebook, it's the one with big ears.

I think our bat's up to the test.
If you doubt it, just ask Adam West.
He was TV's Bruce Wayne --
the caped crusader's real name --
and could 'Zap!' and 'Kapow!' with the best.

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