Keeping Watch with Mixed Feelings

The Vatican has said, "The clinical conditions of the Holy Father remain very serious. In late morning, the high fever developed. When addressed by members of his household, he responds correctly."

It seems clear that the end is near, perhaps fittingly to come on Divine Mercy Sunday. Nevertheless, I still have hope (maybe it's just the stubbornness of my half-Polish heritage), like a Pole, as reported by Reuters.

"I am counting on a miracle," said Stanislaw Witek, a 56-year-old electrician in the Pope's hometown of Wadowice before bursting into tears.

Yes, like most others, Catholics in particular, the grief of my pending personal loss is tempered by the knowledge that he soon will be crossing the threshhold of a door opened by Christ. I have not had this much emotional difficulty since my father died, and for the same reasons, but I will try to follow the pope's last instruction to have joy. Thankfully, this becomes easier as I watch the people pour into St. Peter's Square with a slowly swelling undercurrent of celebration.

Here's the e-mail I sent to His Holiness:

We pray for a miracle. Our family has despatched our guardian angels to bring you aid, or welcome you, whichever is to be. May we all gain the wisdom of your witness of this time. Godspeed my brother and teacher.