Friday, November 02, 2012

From the E-mail Bag...

And keeping with the college football theme (and a nice dose for the SEC):
  • Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
  • Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? A: So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
  • Q: What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? A: Drool.
  • Q: How many University of South Carolina freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. That's a sophomore course.
  • Q: How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? A: The cow fell on him.
  • Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
  • A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
  • Q: What do you say to a University of South Carolina football player dressed in a three-piece suit?" A: "Will the defendant please rise."
  • Q: If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? A: The police officer.
  • Q: How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend? A: There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
  • Q: What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A: A full set of teeth.
  • University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;..... the other half will have to dress themselves.
  • Q: How is the Indiana football team like an opossum? A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  • Q: Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car? A: He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
  • Q: How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? A: Pay him for the pizza.
  • Q: What are the longest three years of a University of Alabama football player’s life? A: Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

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