Sub-committee Member #1 (chair): OK, this meeting has come to order. We need to select a speaker to recommend for the keynote address to this year's convention. The table is open for discussion.Nobody can be surprised, much less disappointed, that the NCEA has selected a cookie-cutter lefty, with his look-down-the-nose manner in the image of our new messiah, who rails against the settled teaching of the Catholic Church. Can they? Sure they can--it's not like we're talking about the NEA. The "C" ought to stand for something.
Member #2: Let's try to get someone local to give the speech and not just get an award. I heard a rumor there was some grumbling last year.
Member #3: Good idea. Who are some famous Minnesota Catholics? Any politicians? Someone who knows how to give a speech?
Member #4: Wasn't there a Catholic governor not too long ago? "Governor Goofy," I think they called him. I bet he'd be entertaining. Rudy something-or-other. I think he was even a Democrat.
Member #1: I'll check my iPhone.
Member #2: Giuliani?
Member #3: No. It was was Percocet, or Popovich, or something like that.
*** short pause ***
Member #1: Here it is. Rudy Perpich. It says he died 15 years ago.
Member #5: There goes that. Any other ideas? It doesn't have to be a politician, does it?
Member #3: How about Herb Brooks? He's from Minnesota and with the Olympics being this year and all that, it might be kind of exciting.
Member #5: He's Catholic?
Member #4: Yeah, it surprised me, too. I remember that ESPN showed his funeral procession, and it was at the St. Paul Cathedral... ummm...
Member #2: Hey, I remember that.
Member #5: His funeral? Excuse me... How's that going to work?
Member #1: You're right. It looks like Herb Brooks died in 2003... car accident.
*** extended silence ***
Member #4: Why do we have to have a Catholic? I mean, after all, we do welcome anyone in our schools. We could make a powerful statement!
Member #2: Oooh, that is a good point. And how about someone funny? I know she was inspirational and all, but that Rwanda lady last year and her life story arc of genocide... a bit of a buzzkill, if you ask me. Let's lighten things up this year!
Member #1: Now we're talking!
Member #3: I've got it! Al Franken! He's a senator... a comedian... He's even Jewish... an elder brother in the faith...
Member #2: Perfect!
Member #5: Maybe. He'll probably have to stay in Washington to help protect real health care reform from the obstructionist Republicans.
Member #3: That's true.
Member #4: Not to mention all those tea bagger protesters we'd have to deal with.
Member #1: He's a good choice, but let's keep thinking...
*** more silence ***
Member #3: I've got it! Garrison Keillor! He's from Minnesota.
Member #2: Perfect! He's soooo folksy.
Member #5: Everyone likes Lake Wobegone. Isn't that where all the children are above average?
Member #3: Yes! A nice change from the way the Bush administration failed our children for 8 years.
Member #4. What a powerful message!
Member #2: Perfect!
Member #1: It says here that he's Episcopalian...
Member #4: That's practically the same as being Catholic!
Member #1: ... and he also put out a gospel album.
Member #2: Perfect!
Member #3: Maybe we can do a "meet and greet" after.
Member #1: There. I think it's settled. Without objection, we have our recommendation.
Now, Mr. Keillor certainly has the ability to deliver a perfectly appropriate and witty and inspirational and entertaining speech. And I expect he is shrewd enough not to challenge the Church directly, even though there will be plenty of sympathetic ears in the room. It looks like once again we're in a wait-and-see mode as another Catholic organization flirts with being of and not just in the world.
akala ku speech??????
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